2023年12月11日发(作者：)

“肉麻元素”

In autumn, New Yorkers treat every as if it could be their

last.|在秋天纽约客 尽情享受每一个好天气

I'll have another if you will. What do you say?|-如果可以的话我要再来一杯

You're a bad influence.|-你会把我带坏

I waited and waited.|-我等了好久

You said to meet you at the subway.|-你说过在地铁站会合

I was at the subway. I was at the foot of the stairs.|我在地铁站楼梯下面等你

You was at the subway? You was in the subway.|你在地铁站外面？ 你跑到地铁站里面了

You don't know how to 你连路都说不清楚

- That's gonna be us in 30 years. - Please don't say that.|-那是30年后的我们 -拜托你别那么说

I'm kidding, that could never be us.|-开玩笑的，我们不会那样

That already was us, remember?|-我们已经那样了，记得吗？

But that was then.|但那是以前的事

So for the future, I don't want to become that.|未来我不想变成那样

I don't want you to worry about becoming that.|别担心你会变成那样

Okay, I won't.|我不会担心的

- Anything else we don't want? - Yeah. I don't want you paying for these

beers. I'm serious.|我们还不喜欢哪些事呢？ 我不要你付啤酒钱 我是认真的

Your turn.|-现在轮到你了

Okay.|-好吧

I don't want to become your mother.|-我不想当你的老妈子 That's a good one.|-说得好

I don't want to slack off like I used to.|-我不要像以前那么懒

I don't want to be so moody. This is fun. I don't want to lose you again.|-我不要那么暴躁 -这真的很有趣 -我再也不想失去你

Even if I screw up all the other stuff, that's the one that matters.|即使我搞砸了别的事 这是最重要的

I don't want to lose you either.|我也不想失去你

Will you marry me?|你愿意娶我吗？

Are you serious?|你是认真的吗？

Yes.|对，

Will you?|你愿意吗？

Hell, yeah!|当然愿意

Some couples have to say their "I don't's"...|有些伴侣得说出 他们不喜欢的事

before they can ever imagine saying their "I do's."|才能说出“我愿意”

Eighy blocks and a 在八十条街外的另一个世界

I was enjoying a different kind of happy hour. At Aleksandr Petrovsky's.|我在亚力山大佩特洛夫斯基家 享受完全不同的快乐时光

That's pretty. What is that?|好美，那是什么曲子？

This little tune I have made up for you.|这是我帮你写的曲子

What?|什么？

- No, you didn't. - Yes, I did.|不可能 那是真的

Which means woman with luminous, sparkling eyes.|意思是“有双明眸的女人”

That is the cheesiest thing I have ever heard in my life.|这是我一辈子听过最老套的话 Ick.

I know. I can't even look at you all, I'm so embarrassed.|我知道，我根本不敢看你们 我觉得很不好意思

It all sounds very old-world to me.|我觉得很古典

Very 18th century Russia.|就跟18世纪的俄国一样

And I live in New York City, circa now.|现在我住在纽约

I think it's romantic if someone offers me a seat on the subway.|在地铁里有人让坐就很浪漫了

That is romantic.|那真的很浪漫

We are just starved for real romance, and that is the sad truth.|我们渴望真的浪漫 那是个悲伤的事实

I'm not starved. Smith is in L.A. For 我才不渴望，史密斯在洛杉矶

and he calls me every night before he goes to sleep.|他每晚打电话给我

Phone sex doesn't count.|-电话性爱不算数

I'm drinking a glass of wine while we do it.|-我会边做边喝酒

I want to hear more about the romance. What else did he do?|我想多听些浪漫故事 他还做了什么？

There was one more thing.|还有一件事

But if I tell you, it'll be the "Ick" heard around the world.|但如果我告诉你们 那会成为全世界最老套的事

It will not.|才不会

You know the song he wrote for me?|-他帮我写了一首曲子

Yeah, ick.|-对，恶心

It had a name.|它有个名字

The woman with “有双明眸的„” Sparkle.|“女人”

- What's French for "Ick"? - "Eek."|法文的恶心要怎么说？

And I swear, while he was playing it, I floated up out of 他弹琴时我的灵魂出窍 俯瞰着自己

and I was on the ceiling, looking down at myself, thinking: "Come on."|心想“少来了”

He was just expressing genuine emotion in an old-fashioned way.|他用古老的方式 表达自己的情感

But it's not genuine, it's pure show.|那一点都不动人，只是在表演

I can't stand all that artificial hoo-hah.|我受不了做作的行为

That's why I proposed to Steve over $3 beers.|所以我用一杯三块的啤酒 跟史蒂夫求婚

You proposed?|-你跟他求婚？

You proposed marriage?|-你要他娶你？

Okay. Everybody, stop.|大伙们，别说了

It's not a big deal, I am I'm not doing the big circus

wedding.|那不是什么大事 我没有订婚 我不希望有铺张的婚礼

There will be no white dress or bridesmaids, or posed pictures.|我不要婚纱、伴娘跟婚纱照

I hate all that shit.|我讨厌那些东西

That's your choice. Every bride has to find her own style.|那是你的选择 每个新娘的风格都不一样

When is it gonna be?|婚期是什么时候？

As soon as I find some place that doesn't make me hurl.|我得先找到 不会让我破口大骂的地方

It's just going to be a simple, nothing thing. I don't even care about

the wedding. I just want to be with Steve.|我甚至不在乎婚礼 我只想跟史蒂夫在一起 This is exactly what I don't want.|-我就是不要你们这样

No tears.|-别哭了

Oh, my God.|-我的天啊

I can't believe it.|-我不敢相信

That's it, you're all freaking me out.|-你们吓坏我了

Samantha, I expected more from you.|莎曼珊，我以为你不会这样

He just felt inspired to write her 他得到灵感为她写了一首歌

and then he played it for her.|还弹给她听

Isn't that the most romantic thing you've ever heard?|-那真的很浪漫吧？

Not bad. I used to play clarinet when I was little. This is so good, you

have to have some.|-还不错 -我小时候会吹竖笛 -好好吃，来一口吧

Doesn't that taste like real butter pecan?|吃起来很像 真的奶油山核桃吧？

If that's what we're playing, sure.|如果我们得这么玩 好吧，

I can pretend this whipped flavored air is the real thing.|我可以假装它是真的 真好吃

It's like something out of a Victorian novel. People just don't do those

things anymore.|那像是维多利亚时代的小说 现在的人不会再那么做

I can be romantic, too, you know.|-我也可以很浪漫

Honey, I know you can.|-甜心，我知道你可以

I think it's romantic that you walk me to Tasti D-Lite every night.|你陪我走到吃吃看餐厅 就已经够浪漫了

Don't humor me.|别逗我笑，

I know how to do romance right. It's not just for foo-foo foreigners. In

fact, I am gonna take you out for a real romantic night on the town.|我知道什么是浪漫 不是只有外国人才会那么做 事实上我要带你到城里 度过一个浪漫夜晚

Wining and dining, baby.|-我们要享受美酒佳肴 - Really? - You bet. Let me get another lick of that.|-真的吗？ 没错，我要再舔一口

I don't want to make a big entrance. I don't want everyone staring at me.|我不想有个盛大的入场式 让大家都盯着我看

And from licking 从头到尾

I just want it to feel like us.|我希望它有我们的风格

Not like one of those millions of 不像我讨厌的那些婚礼

I've had to suffer through.

How do we do that?|-我们该怎么做？

What about one of those boat rides that goes around the Island?|-搭船绕岛一周

- That's different. - We're not boat people. When have we ever been on

a boat together, ever?|我们不是爱船的人 我们什么时候搭过船了？

Okay. You got a better idea?|-你有更棒的点子吗？

Shit.|-该死

This is so us, we are pathetic.|该死 这就是我们，我们太可悲了

This gum is like Superglue. Look at this.|-这块口香糖跟三秒胶一样

You see? We're bag people, not boat people.|-你看到了吗？ 我们是凡夫俗子 不是爱船的人

We should get married right here, in this mess.|我们应该在这团混乱中 就地成婚

We're going to have to, if I can't get this gum off.|如果我没办法把口香糖弄掉 我们真的得那么做

（这是社区园艺计划）

That's a nice garden.|那座花园好漂亮

Yeah, it's pretty.|-没错 But not corny.|-不会太俗气

What do you think?|-你觉得呢？

I don't hate it.|-我不讨厌它

The only thing harder than choosing a spot for when you

有一件事 比挑选结婚地点还难„

What about a guest book?|-宾客签名簿呢？

... is choosing a wedding gift for your friend who hates weddings.|-我们在挑选结婚礼物

There's going to be eight of us there. There's no one to keep track of.|一共才八个客人 根本不需要签名

I can't believe Miranda is getting married.|我不敢相信米兰达要结婚了

- This is pretty. - She'll hate that, too domestic.|-这个好漂亮 -她一定会讨厌，太家居感了

And too bridey.|-太明亮了

Let's try not to piss her off.|-千万别惹她生气

Maybe we should just buy her wrap it in brown paper, and just

smear some dog poo on it. Think she'd be comfortable with that?|我们买个钉书机送她 用牛皮纸包好涂上狗屎

Fine, we'll get the dish.|好吧，我们就选盘子

Ladies, I have something to 我得告诉你们一件事

and you're not going to like it.|你们一定会很不高兴

If you get married and leave me all alone, I will kill you.|如果你也要丢下我去结婚 我会杀了你

As you know, I have always loved my body just the way it is.|我一直都很喜欢我的身体

My legs are fantastic, I have 我有双美腿，平坦的小腹

my ass 我的臀部非常完美„ Is this the part we're not gonna like?|-我们不会喜欢这个？

But I have decided, after -但经过深思熟虑后

that I might be ready for bigger boobs.|我决定要去隆乳

Since when?|-你怎么会那么想？

Since I had a cold, hard dose -因为我看到残酷的事实

from this. Look.|-就是这个，你们看

You're in In Touch magazine?|-你上了“触碰杂志”

- And that's your source of reality? - Yes.|-你透过它看到事实？ -对

They named Smith Jerrod the number one hot guy to watch.|他们票选出史密斯 是头号大帅哥

They followed him all over town for a week. I'm in half the pictures.|他们跟着他全城跑 我经常在照片里出现

There are my boobs on Wednesday. See how small they are?|那是我星期三的咪咪 你看到它们有多小了吗？

There they are again on Thursday.|然后是我星期四的咪咪

Teeny-tiny.|真的是超小的

And there they are having lunch. You can barely see them.|这是它们在吃午餐的样子

I should've brought my Loupe.|得用放大镜才能看到它们

I can't believe you would actually consider having a boob job.|我不敢相信你要隆乳

I can't believe you went to Planet Hollywood.|我不敢相信 你去了好莱坞星球餐厅

You are a confident, intelligent woman. Why would you want to look like

a bimbo?|你是个充满自信的聪明女人 谁想被当成波霸？

I wouldn't be getting the watermelon freakshow kind.|我不会把咪咪 变得跟西瓜一样大 I'd get something tasteful, 我会把胸部整得很有气质

yours.|就跟你一样

Yours are good.|-你的胸部很好看

Mine?|-真的吗？

- What's wrong with mine? - They're not bad, either.|我的胸部哪里不好？

-它们也不赖，

Let's see.|让我看看

Okay, all right. Get hers. No.|-好吧 -去摸她的 -不

A few days later, the rain came.|几天后天空下起大雨

Listen, you will like this poem.|听着，你会喜欢这首诗

Poem?

And so did the poetry.|空气中诗意盎然

"So long had life together been|“共处的生活漫长悠久

"that once the snow began to fall|雪开始下”

"it seemed unending|“像没完没了”

"that, lest the flakes should make her eyelids wince|“唯恐雪花使她闭上双眼”

"I'd shield them with my hand|“我用手挡着

"and they, pretending not to believe the cherishing of eyes|他们假装不相信” “双眼的思念 会敲痛我的掌心”

"would beat against my palm like butterflies"|“它们就像蝴蝶一样”

That is some serious stuff.|那真的好严肃

Had enough, huh?|-你受不了了？

No, it's beautiful.|-不，它真的好美 How about I read you a little bit of my favorite poetry?|要不要听我念 我最喜欢的诗？

Please.|请吧

"Cocktails at Tiffany's calls for classic charm.|“蒂芙妮的鸡尾酒会 弥漫着古典迷人气息”

"Oscar de la Renta sleeveless “奥斯卡德拉伦塔的无袖上衣

"丝质长洋装”

"with black patent leather bow-belt."|“黑色花纹低腰皮带”

Now, that is pure poetry.|那真的很有诗意

Oscar is a good friend of mine. I'll tell him you like the dress.|奥斯卡跟我是好朋友 我会告诉他你喜欢那套洋装

Oscar?

You call him "Oscar"?|-你叫他奥斯卡？

It's his name, isn't it?|-那是他的名字，对吧？

So, you feel uncomfortable with poetry.|你不喜欢诗，

Why is that?|为什么？

I'm sorry. Perhaps we were not properly introduced.|对不起，或许你还不认识我

I write a column based on 我在写一个专栏

that romance is either dead phony.|主题是浪漫已死 或浪漫是虚假的

- You think I'm phony? - No, not at all.|-你觉得我很假？ -不是那样的

I'm the one that feels like a phony.|是我觉得很虚假

Frankly, I'm just not these grand gestures.|老实说 我不习惯这么夸张的恋情

You mean, no other man, no 其他男人没念诗给你听过 read you a or played a little music for you?|或是为你弹琴？

No, they have not.|他们不曾那么做过

Okay.|好吧

I'm in over my head. Where are you?|-我昏头了，你在哪里？

Shopping for a wedding dress on my lunch hour.|-买婚纱

I said no white, no ivory.|我说不要白色或象牙白的

Nothing that says virgin.|我不要有“处女”意义的婚纱

I have a child. The jig is up.|我有个孩子，就那么简单

< the Russian read me a Russian poem, but in English.|昨天俄国佬念俄国诗给我听 但他用的是英文

Are you just making this stuff up now?|-那是你编出来的吗？

No, and this might but I don't think it's an act.|-不 这听起来或许很疯狂 我不觉得他是装的

I think he actually means it.|他是玩真的

That doesn't make it okay.|那不代表一切没事

Has he considered your feelings?|他有考虑到你的感觉吗？

You're right, he's a selfish pig.|-你说得对，他是个自私鬼

I'm serious.|-我是认真的

I think you should tell him that this whole 你应该告诉他 这些浪漫把戏让你觉得想吐

gives you the icks, turns your stomach, and that he's - not

Anna Karenina. - I'll tell him that. I can't tell him that.|-他不是要追安娜卡列妮娜 -我不能那样告诉他

Let me ask you something.|我得问你一件事

If you're so anti-romance, why are you having a wedding at all?|如果你那么反对浪漫 为什么还要举行婚礼？ Why not just go down to City Hall and get it over with?|你为什么不到市政厅 公证结婚？

I thought 我想过，

but then I realized I actually do want to say those vows 但我发现 我想大声说出我的婚誓

to Steve, in front of the people I care about.|让史蒂夫跟我在乎的人都听到

Are you gagging over there?|-你在偷笑吗？

No, the opposite.|-不，完全相反

My God, Miranda.|天啊，米兰达

You were my cynical touchstone.|你是我的挖苦指标

Do you promise to still be cynical even after you're married?|答应我 婚后你还是会这么刻薄？

I do.|我会的

I have got to go, there's a big pile of tutus coming at me.|我得挂电话了 我看到一件超夸张的婚纱

Okay, we need to have another talk.|我们得再好好谈一谈

（诗与浪漫主义）

One of the great things about living in New 住在纽约市的优点之一

is that you don't have to sugarcoat your feelings.|就是你不必伪装自己的感觉

But have New York women settled for a sugar-free existence as well?|但纽约女人安于 没有甜言蜜语的世界吗？

We accept Tasti D-Lite instead of real ice cream.|我们愿意到吃吃看餐厅

放弃了超级美味的冰淇淋

Emails instead of love songs, jokes instead of poetry.|用电子邮件代替情歌 用玩笑代替诗 It's no wonder that when faced with the 难怪面对真正的浪漫时

we can't stomach it.|我们都会觉得受不了

Is it something we could learn 那是我们可以 学着消化的事吗？

or have we become romance-intolerant?|或是我们变成无法接受浪漫？

Et puis, for the troisiè we would like the 然后第三道菜我们想点鹅肝

followed by the boeuf bourguignon avec les legumes à la crème.|接下来是勃艮第牛肉 奶油蔬菜

It was Harry's version of a serenade, and Charlotte ate it right up.|那是哈利的浪漫 夏绿蒂非常喜欢

Et en fin, the plat du fromage.|最后是起司

The plate or the cart? We have a lovely cheese cart.|你要起司碟还是用车？ 我们有很精美的起司盛放车

Mais oui! Bring us the cart.|是的，请用车送上来

Tout de suite, for my sweetie.|那非常适合我太太

I had no idea you could speak French so well, honey.|我不知道 你的法文说得那么好

The French learned romance from me, baby.|法国人的浪漫是跟我学的 宝贝

Downtown, in the name of boob 在城里有个女人 在做隆乳手术研究

Samantha decided to go where the biggest crop would be on display.|莎曼珊决定到大波霸 最常去的地方

Some were little boobs.|-有些人的咪咪很小

- That's okay. - Not so bad.|-还不错

Some were big boobs.|有些人的咪咪很大

Some were ridiculously big boobs.|-有些人的咪咪大到不像话 Oh, boy.|-天啊，

Okay. That's my wife, right there.|我要娶她为妻

And then there were the two biggest boobs 然后咪咪最大的女人

right beside her.|走到她身边

Can I get you something?|需要我效劳吗？

You either have the most naturally beautiful breasts I've 你的胸部真的非常自然漂亮 如果不是天生的话

or I need the name of your doctor.|我想知道你的医生是谁

You want Dr. Bevel. He's the best.|你需要贝佛医生，他是最棒的

They paid for themselves in tips alone.|光是小费都很值得

Meanwhile, back in the 同时回到18世纪

I'm sorry. Is this a formal sleep over?|抱歉 我得穿着正式来你家过夜吗？

There's an opening at the Met tonight. It's La Traviata, and you're going

with me.|茶花女要在大都会歌剧院开演 你要跟我一起去

Man, I was this close to throwing out 我差点就要换上正式礼服了

but I ignored my instincts.|但我还是不顾我的直觉

- All right, I'll go home and change. - No, this'll be much faster.|-我回家换衣服 -不，这样子比较快

Come on.|到这里来

Come on, open it.|快打开它

Tonight, only your poetry, not mine.|今晚以你的浪漫为主 我不重要

From the magazine. You like it?|我从杂志上看到的 你喜欢吗？

If I had been on a romance-free diet, this seemed like a good time to

binge.|如果我一直在避免浪漫 看来我得抛开顾忌

That was the most romantic, 那是最浪漫优雅„ Pardon me, that was weird.|对不起，那真的很奇怪

...decadent, 颓废的七道菜„

I'm sorry, honey.|抱歉，甜心

Oh, boy.|天啊

Are you okay?|你没事吧？

Honey?|甜心，

Are you gonna be long in there?|你会很久吗？

Maybe.|或许

Definitely. Why?|一定会，怎么了？

It's okay, I'll go to the other one.|没关系，我去另外一间

When you splurge on a romantic 当你吃下七道佳肴

you generally want to remember every bite.|你会怀念每一口的味道

There was the soup course.|有汤、

The dessert course.|甜点

And all those other yummy courses in between.|还有各式美食

That's gotta be it.|应该没事，

I'm done.|我都拉完了

Harry and Charlotte had romance shooting out of them every 哈利跟夏绿蒂的浪漫 每隔20分钟发作一次

I'm not.

... for the rest of the night.|他们拉了一整晚的肚子

I wouldn't go in there if I were you. It's not pleasant.|-如果我是你，我不会进去

I can't make it to the other one.|-我来不及到另外一间了 It was the fucking fromage.|都是起司害的

Don't!

That fucking fromage.|该死的起司

Look out, I'm coming in.|小心，我来了

Surviving a night of food 严重拉肚子一整晚

wasn't the stuff of 不是什么浪漫的事

but it was the stuff of lasting love.|但那会是恋人间的永久回忆

Meanwhile, a funny thing happened on the way to the opera.|同时在前往歌剧院的路上 发生了一件很有趣的事

Wait.|等一下

What?

This music, this place.|这首曲子 这个地方

You.|你

Isn't it perfect?|它真的很完美吧？

Would you dance with me?|你愿意跟我跳舞吗？

It was the most romantic moment.|那是最浪漫的一刻

Are you okay?|-你没事吧？

No.|不，

It's too much.|我受不了了

I'm an American. You got to take it down a notch.|我是美国人 你得一步一步慢慢来

- Does she need any help? - No, he's got her.|-她需要帮忙吗？ -不，他抱住她了

And then a quarter pounder 还要一个麦香堡 跟起司口味的

McNuggets.|麦克鸡块 Would you like to super size that?|你要超大份的吗？

- Can you handle it? - Absolutely.|-你吃得完吗？ -当然

Absolutely.|没问题

I'm sorry about the opera.|-关于歌剧的事我很抱歉

Don't be silly.|-别傻了，

Another time, another dress.|下次再说吧 再换一套衣服

May I offer you a fry?|你要吃根薯条吗？

They're French.|-它们有法国的感觉喔

<-那么说的话„

I think I might be up for a quick spin now.|我想在这里跳支舞

If you'll still have me.|-如果你还愿意跟我一起跳舞

Of course.|-那当然

That'll be $9.54.|一共是九块五角四分

And there, beneath the 在皎洁的月光下

I was finally laughing 我终于因为浪漫开怀大笑

and not at it.|而不是故作姿态

If I went any bigger than this, I think I'd look ridiculous, don't you?|如果我变得比这个大 看起来会很可笑吧？

That's not my work.|那跟我无关，

But I did hers. And hers, right before the Golden Globes.|但她是我的客人 我在她得金球奖前帮她动刀

They're winners.|它们真的谋杀了不少底片

Other arm, please.|请把另一只手臂抬高

I have an event in two months that I'd really like to have a little cleavage

for.|两个月后我得公开亮相 Will they be up and running by then?|到时候我的胸部可以见人吧？

You have a lump I'd like you to have checked before we begin our work.|你的乳房有硬块 我希望在动手术前先做检查

It's right here, you can feel it yourself.|-就在这里，你可以摸摸看

- Are you kidding? - I'm afraid not.|-你是在开玩笑吧？ 恐怕不是的

Okay, but it's not serious, right?|好吧，但不严重吧？

It's probably just a cyst, but we want to be absolutely sure.|很可能只是囊肿 但我们得确定一下

I'd like to have it looked at as soon as possible.|我要你尽快去做检查，好吗？

By Miranda's wedding day, I thought the whole world had 米兰达结婚那天 我以为一切都会很浪漫

when Samantha insisted on picking me up in a cab.|莎曼珊坚持搭计程车来接我

What has come over you? This is a 100 blocks out of your way.|-你是怎么了？

Now we're going to 10th and Sixth Avenue, please.|-请到第六街跟第十大道口

- You look nice. - So do you.|-你看起来很漂亮 -你也是

Thank you. I had my breast consultation with the plastic surgeon.|我跟整型外科医生 做了隆乳手术谘询

Please tell me you've changed your mind.|-告诉我你改变了心意

Not exactly.|-不是那样的

He found a lump and I had it biopsied.|他发现肿块，我做了切片检查

It turns out I have cancer. What? When?|结果是我得了癌症 你„什么？什么时候？

I had it biopsied on Wednesday and I found out yesterday.|我在星期三做切片检查 昨天拿到检查报告 I'm going to give you all the information, and I don't want you to get

upset or worry.|我会告诉你详细的情况 别太难过担心

The only reason I'm telling you now and not 我会在这个时候告诉你

I didn't want to accidentally blurt out: "I have cancer," in the middle

of Miranda's wedding.|因为我不想在婚礼中 大叫着“我得了癌症”

Could you please take Fifth? Broadway's a disaster.|麻烦你走第五大道 百老汇大道塞爆了

I'm listening.|-好了，我在听

And please don't tell Charlotte and Miranda.|-别告诉夏绿蒂跟米兰达

I don't want to ruin their days, too.|-我不希望毁了她们的好心情

Of course, whatever you say.|-当然，你说的都对

What exactly do you know?|-你到底知道什么？

Just that there are cancer cells and I had a mammogram. They think it's

small, which is a good sign.|-我的乳房有癌细胞 我做了乳房X光像 肿瘤很小，那是件好事

I won't know anything else until they take the fucker out next week.|下星期他们取出肿瘤前 我只知道这么多

Now you know everything and we can talk about something else.|我们来聊聊别的事吧

Do you like my skunk?|你喜欢我的披肩吗？

Thank you for telling me.|-谢谢你告诉我

Sure.|-没问题

I'm sorry to put a big cloud over the whole day.|抱歉坏了你今天的好心情

I know I'm gonna be fine, I know that.|我知道我一定会没事的

It'只是„

I don't want to lose my breasts.|我不想失去我的乳房 They're fabulous.|-它们真的很漂亮

They are.|-没错

For better, for worse.|-不论好坏

For richer, or poorer.|-不论贫富

To love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live.|在有生之年会珍爱彼此

This is my solemn vow.|-这是我的誓言

Now, Miranda.|现在轮到米兰达了

I, -我，米兰达霍布斯

take you, -愿意接受史蒂夫布莱迪

to be my husband.|-成为我的丈夫

Look, Mommy and Daddy are getting married.|你看，妈妈跟爸爸要结婚了

For richer -不论贫富

in sickness and -不论疾病或健康

to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live.|在有生之年会珍爱彼此

This is my solemn vow.|-这是我的誓言

Do you promise to uphold these vows you've made witnessed

by your closest friends and family?|你答应会遵守在亲友面前 立下的誓言吗？

I do.|-我愿意

With the power vested in me by the state of 根据纽约州赋予我的权力

I now pronounce you husband and wife.|我宣布你们成为夫妇

Come on, everybody, it's happy time.|来吧，大伙们 这是令人高兴的一刻 The one wedding ritual Miranda never had a 米兰达不会有意见的婚礼仪式

was the part where everyone eats.|就是婚宴 我们都坐下来大吃一顿

And so we did.

Samantha, you look so pretty today.|-莎曼珊，你今天好漂亮

- Thanks, I have cancer. - What?|-谢谢，我得了癌症 -什么？

- Are you okay with drinks? - We're not okay with drinks. - Keep them coming.

- Cool.|-饮料还可以吗？ -我们还没喝够，再送过来 -酷啊

I like the color of your dress.|-我喜欢你的婚纱颜色

Thank you.|-谢谢

I admire you for not pretending.|我佩服你不喜欢假装

Listen, we're 听着，现在我们是一家人

and there's something private I want to tell you.|我要告诉你一件私事

You don't have to.|你不必那么做

The day I married Steve's father, I wore white.|我嫁给史蒂夫的爹那天 穿着白色婚纱

But I shouldn't have.|但我不该那么做

I slipped.|我曾经出轨过一次

Once, God forgive me.|上帝原谅我

Don't tell Steve.|别告诉史蒂夫

When I walked down that aisle at St. 我在圣安格斯教堂 走上红毯的那一端

I had a white dress on, on 外面穿着白色婚纱

and my little Jackie on the inside.|肚里却怀着小积琪

Ma, you still hungry? Let's get some chow.|妈，你还是肚子饿吗？ 我们去吃点东西吧？ My God, I am legally bound to Steve's mother.|天啊，我跟史蒂夫的妈妈 在法律上成了亲戚

Hi, again.|-你好

Congratulations.|-恭喜你

What? Why are you being weird?|-什么？你们怎么怪怪的？

- We're not being weird. - We're just talking. About me, right?|-我们一点都不奇怪 -我们只是在闲聊 -在聊我的事吧？

You think I'm an asshole, that I've become one that I'm a

Stepford bride.|你们觉得我是混蛋 我成了超完美新娘

No.|-天啊，不

So tell me what you're talking about.|-告诉我你们在聊什么

I'll tell you tomorrow, I don't want to ruin your special day.|我不想毁了你的大喜之日

Forget about my special fucking day and be normal.|别管我的大喜之日 正常一点，

Please, I beg of you.|拜托，我求你们

I have breast cancer.|-我得了乳癌

- What? - See? Now it's my special fucking day.|-什么？ 看吧？这是我的大日子

You have breast cancer?|-你得了乳癌？

Hey, no tears.|-别哭

I expected more from you.|米兰达，我没想到你会这样

This is what we were afraid of.|我们就害怕你会这样

Go back to your people, we'll talk about this later.|快去招呼客人，我们待会再聊

You are my people and we'll talk about it now!|你们是我的朋友 我们现在就得谈 Start at the beginning.|-从头开始说

You are the bossiest bride in the world.|-你是全世界最霸道的新娘

Yes I am, and you have to do everything I say.|没错，你们得照我的话去做

Start talking.|-开始说

Do you remember when

For better or for worse, we were all ourselves that day.|不论好坏 那天我们都可以做自己

Just the way Miranda wanted it.|就跟米兰达希望的一样